Dear Crush/ Boyfriend/Spouse,
You are neither of these three for me. Gone are the days when I'd think about you every second of my existence, and you never let us be the other two. Yet, we went through so much, it's hard not think that we were all these. I'm not really sure what you were in my life, but seeing as you were the person I thought of when I saw the subject of this entry, it's something along these lines.
It's been about a year since we last saw each other. I don't know if I miss you. I miss our happy moments, but you gave me more miserable ones than happy ones. I wouldn't take you back. I think the reason our relationship still torments me is because we left each other and never really gave each other reasons. Let me correct that, I gave my reason. You just didn't bother to listen. But you left me perplexed. Why were you so cold to me? Why was it that until the very last second you decided to be so selfish?
From the bottom of my heart, I still believe you to be a good person. I think you're honest, and with good intentions. I just don't know why that wasn't the case with me. You seemed at ease hurting me and using me, and completely aware of what you were doing (and even proud of the fact that you had that power over me). I don't know why. You were supposed to be "one of the nice guys" but you turned out to be one of the biggest assholes. I really don't understand why. I guess I still wish to understand you. Which is another thing I don't understand.
I hate you. I hope all those silly dreams you have never come true. But I still want that last conversation with you. I still seek to understand. I need that closure, it's the least your jerk-ass can do for all the trouble you put me through.
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