Conclusion

Well, I actually finished! I didn't think I could do it, but I did it! 30 letters in 30 days. It was quite interesting who I ended up writing to. Some of them were people that hadn't crossed my mind in years. Others were people I still can't stop thinking about.
     The first few, I admit, made me tear up. Sometimes it felt good to write. It helped to just get it out. There is a part of me that wishes there were even more letters to write. But alas, the challenge is over and I must move on to the next one.
    My challenge for February will be to study Portuguese everyday. I already sort of started, but I want to get to an intermediate level by the end of the month. I don't think it will be very hard because I already speak Spanish and the two languages are very similar. I will try to blog about it here a couple of times. Maybe I'll just write random thoughts here. Who knows?
    It has become routine to come here and write. Today, even though there was no letter I felt I should still write something. So here I am, writing, trying to fill my night routine before I go to bed. I lost track of time today so I am a little late, but still. I want to write. Everyday. Hopefully that will happen. Hopefully. 

Day 30 Yourself Right Now

Dear Myself Right Now,
    Somehow, for some odd reason, you're doing everything you thought you could never do. Something inside of you just happened and now you're doing it. Although things are kind of scary and you are still uneasy about everything, you have courage coming out of somewhere. It just makes me so excited because it seems we're going to be okay. All these years I thought I was going to give up! But no, here I am. Standing strong and becoming the woman I had always wanted to be.
    BTW, you should totally get friendly with that cute trainer at the gym!

Day 29 A Teacher

Dear Teacher,
     You've never met me. I was never in one of your classes. You do know my brother. He is your student and he admires you so much. He talks about you with such respect and admiration that I  kind of envy you. He tells me everything, well almost everything, that goes in your classroom.
     I don't even know what you look like, but I can tell you are a great teacher. To have a student talk about you in such a way is something I've never really seen before. It's the kind of teacher I want to be. I don't want to be just a good teacher. I want to be a teacher whom my students are proud of.
    I want to lead with actions, such as you addressing congress. You're one of a kind, and you deserve all the praise you get. I hope to one day be like you. Inspiring students to be the best they can be by showing them it can be done. Much respect to you. I hope one day I can call you my colleague.

Day 28 A Neighbor

Dear Neighbor,
     I haven't seen you in a while. I'm not really sure what happened to you. Do you still live there? In the times when all the things happened with my brother I thought nothing of you. Well, I thought you were a delinquent, and perhaps I treated you like one. You gave me good reason to, I think then only that has changed is my way of thinking.
    You left your mark on our house. We never had the money to replace the wire thing on the window. Instead, my mother sewed it up and now everyone asks us about it. What kind of desperation would have driven you to break into a house to steal a few dollars? You tried to break in in plain daylight, you didn't even have a plan. Did you plan to run away with it? Did you think that maybe it would be enough to buy away your troubles?
    I used to think you were evil. Now, I don't know. Maybe you had a broken heart. I know your family didn't treat you with respect. I remember your aunt talking about you in such very ill ways. Such treatment must lead a kid to go crazy. I don't know what it was, but I think I get your desperation. Your weird ways. No one in the neighborhood liked you. I wonder if they got rid of you.
    I think I get where you are coming from. In a way, I feel I was that kid as well at some point. I wonder what happened to you. I wonder what is going to be of your life. I know it is not good. My heart breaks at the thought of your fate. I know, all that shit is an injustice. I wish there were something I could do to help.

Day 27 An Internet Friend

Dear Internet Friend,
     You, as well as many people in my life, don't exist. I don't really know how to talk to people online. I'm awkward even on chat! I think your non-existence though can be attributed to PizzaDude... I remember we were talking for a really long time. We got along very well, until I told him my ethnicity. He told me he didn't like my type and never spoke to me.
    I was outraged. I was hurt. This person who had never even seen me judged me because he didn't like my people, which technically weren't my people. I never got over that. I don't waste my time with people online now. Unless it is to practice a new language. Other than that, I don't associate, or go beyond language practice.
    People, whether face to face or behind a keyboard are hurtful. I don't trust anyone. I won't open up to anyone.

 (Irony noted at the fact that I am writing this blog).

Day 26 Someone Who Has Changed

Dear Someone Who Has Changed,
     I can see how you are slowly beginning to care less and less. Your own misery is bringing you to lose everything good about yourself. Or maybe I am reading you wrong. What I do know is that you aren't who you used to be.
    I kind of understand why you are doing it. The same reason why we all do crazy things sometimes. All the pressures our family puts us through makes us not want to be a part of it anymore. It's the reason why two of us are gone and we are thinking about it. It seems our only way out is marriage, but we don't want that. We all want to be independent women but it's hard when the family brings you down. How do you become independent of the family without completely leaving it?
     I'd just like to let you know you are not alone. We all feel the same way. There is no reason why you or any of us should do this alone. We need to get together and do this together. Make a mark that everyone will have to accept. We are all oppressed by this crazy system, even our mothers. We have the power to change our futures. Don't think you are alone. We are all with you and we are all fighting the same struggle.

Day 25 The Person You Will Always Remember

Dear Person I Will always Remember,
     I never thought I had a future in writing. I was constantly reminded by my teachers that I could not write. You were the first teacher who cared about what I said. You cared more about the content rather than how a sentence was structured. You made me see that my thoughts do matter and even if it's not in neat sentences.
    You made me feel secure in my writing. Everything else from there came after. You allowed me to discover a love for books and reading. I never thought I could find so much meaning in a piece of literature. You introduced me to literature that made sense to me and that I could connect with my own experiences.
     Most importantly, you made me discover a way of expressing myself. Whenever I feel a strong emotion I can't express any other way, you taught me to express with a pad and a pen. It's a gift that I will carry with me the rest of my life. Of course, if that's going to come with me, so will the memory of the person who inspired it.